Date:	2009-11-30 12:46
Subject:	"Theos! It's THEOS!!! >:O"
Security:	Public
Mood:	irascible

So I have a sort of standing appointment with some Jehovah's Witnesses who came to my door about a month ago :) We were supposed to meet last Saturday but there was a misunderstanding as to the time we agreed upon and so we missed each other, and now they're going off the South Africa on some conference until close to Christmas. That's okay, though, gives me time to study up LOL :D

Basically, Jehovah's Witnesses deny anything having to do with the deity of Jesus -- that is, any belief that Jesus is equal with God the Father (Jehovah). So they don't believe in the Trinity, and they believe that Jesus is a created being just like angels or humans (albeit a very powerful one). So I've tried my best to center our conversation around exactly who Jesus is -- they keep trying to engage me to talk about family and the afterlife and a bunch of other things, but since none of that matters if we aren't clear on the person of Jesus I refuse to go there with them :P

So in doing my research I've been looking at the original Greek Bible (since they like to take extreme liberties with some of their interpretations of some very key Greek words, which is funny since their original Greek scholars literally couldn't even recite the Greek alphabet when asked to), and I looked at John 1:1, which read in my Bible "In the beginning with the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." Since the "Word" refers to Jesus, it seems pretty clear that John is saying that Jesus is, in fact, God. However, open a Jehovah's Witness' Bible and the last part will read, "... and the Word was a god". A god! They get around it by arguing that the Greek language doesn't have articles like "a" and "the", and so since John clearly couldn't mean that Jesus was God, he must have meant that he was "a god". Whatever that means.

Now there are two words that I know of in the New Testament that is translated "God" or "Lord". One is THEOS, which unequivocally refers to God the Father (Jehovah). And then there's KYRIOS, which is more of a title, and could be translated "god" with a lower-case "g". So I always assumed that John used the word KYRIOS in John 1:1 -- because I figured that's the only way that the JWs could get away with saying that John didn't equate Jesus with Jehovah God.

But I looked it up, and guess what?

It's THEOS!! THEOS!!!!!! John not only pairs Jesus with a word that can only be interpreted to refer to Jehovah God, but in the Greek it reads backwards -- literally, "God (theos) was the Word (logos)". There's no way that any intelligent person can mistake that for meaning anything other than what it means!

Oh, that made me so mad. How can they get away with that kind of blatant disregard for good scholarship?? Throughout the rest of the day I kept randomly exclaiming, "Theos! It was THEOS!!!" XD

Ugh, I'm still angry about it, LOL

Date:	2009-11-24 12:31
Subject:	Covering
Security:	Public
Mood:	blithe

I've seen a lot of my friends get married in the past 5 years or so, and watching them together I've noticed that sometimes in a Christian marriage, there's something that happens to the woman: there's a brighter glow in their face, a greater freedom in their expression and joy in their life, a heightened sense of confidence and safety. It's beautiful, and it's the result of a true understanding of what the Bible means by "submission" -- submission in a Christian marriage isn't meant to keep the woman down or "under" the man in any way, but rather it frees her to be whom God intended her to be, because she's protected and covered by her husband. I think the closest parallel I can offer from my own experience is playing in an ensemble versus playing alone: When I play alone, I'm expected to fill all the roles of a band (rhythm, harmony, melody, etc.), and in focusing on filling all these roles it becomes difficult sometimes to branch out and try creative musical things; but when I'm playing in an ensemble, I don't have to worry about doing the bassist's job or the drummer's job, but I can be free to make better music in my role in the band. Trusting the others in the band to do their job (especially if they do it well) is a tangibly relaxing and "freeing" experience for me as a musician, and better music results. That is what a good Christian marriage should look like, and does in our church more often than not (praise God).

I've never seen this transformation in a woman so completely than when I saw Amy and Scott this weekend. Soon after they married a few years ago they moved away to Washington, and so I haven't seen Amy in all that time -- so the clarity of the difference in her might be mostly due to her long absence. But regardless, she was almost a completely different person -- though "different" is wrong. It's more like she's more of herself than she was when I knew her before, if that makes sense. Though she was always lovely and sweet, her completeness in herself now makes the Amy I knew before seem reserved, timid, almost apprehensive or frightened (though of course she was not these things, only in comparison does it seem so). I complimented her on it, and told her that Scott must be a wonderful husband to cause such a visible improvement in her mein.

It's times like this when I'm especially glad to know the Lord :)

Date:	2009-11-20 09:19
Subject:	"Thats because our heads have something in them."
Security:	Public
Mood:	astute

Hey don't look now, but I think I might finally be getting the hang of not losing my sense of direction when I'm downtown anymore! Fancy that :) Only been working down here, what, four years?

Just two days ago, I was driving down Van Ness to the Warnor Theater to practice for "Last 5 Years" when I thought, "You know, this is sort of like driving north..." -- and then it all fell into place. I'm now proud to announce that I finally have a downtown compass.

Hey, shut up. This is exciting.

Date:	2009-11-13 08:42
Subject:	Funky fresh!
Security:	Public
Mood:	humdrum

Ah... been a weird couple of months. Lots of strange friendship/family related stuff, one after the other. It's been hard to deal with.

Now that things have cooled down, though, I still feel like I'm left in this weird funk, a sort of numbness, aftershock kind of thing. Perhaps that's why I haven't felt like writing much lately. I guess we'll see what the Lord has in store.

First runthrough of "The Last 5 Years" with the musicians today. I don't think I mentioned this -- a friend of mine is starting a theatre company in town as part of a bigger initiative to make downtown Fresno cool again. Their first play will be "The Last 5 Years", and I'll be playing in the pit. It's good working with these people, but the play itself is depressing and a little vulgar -- I need to be more careful with the kinds of things I allow myself to get roped into. It'll be fun though -- lots of the rehearsals are taking place at my house, which is nice because I love entertaining. Hospitality is one of the most fun ways to shine the light of Christ :)

Playing for two weddings next weekend. One of which I'll be playing the Star Wars theme on the organ for the recessional XD It's gonna be pretty sweet. The other one is really low-key and they just wanted me to play some violin -- which I'm not that great at, so we'll see how it goes :/

Glad it's Friday.

Date:	2009-11-10 07:57
Subject:	Settlement
Security:	Public
Mood:	opulent

Got my settlement check from the break-in in the mail yesterday -- I'm off to Vegas, suckaz 8-)

Yeah, not really off to Vegas.  More like, off to blow most of it on getting a new sword/dagger/scabbard set.  But I won't have to pay for that until it's done in over a year, so in the meantime I get to enjoy getting interest on it :) Ooh, since the money's already allocated to pay for it and thus I can't spend it, maybe I should put it in a mutual fund or something for a year... hm...

Date:	2009-10-19 13:27
Subject:	Uncreative
Security:	Public
Mood:	infecund

I feel so uncreative lately.  Not uncreative as in, lacking creativity -- more, un-creative as in having little or no motivation to create anything.  Hence, I suppose, my brief hiatus from the journal.

I hate moping.  I declare it over!

*waits for moping to be over*

Date:	2009-09-29 08:02
Subject:	Blown away
Security:	Public
Mood:	wonderstruck

Wow, that was fast O.O Here's what happened.

Okay, remember yesterday, when I talked about my half-sister Caitlin?  About how I made her a promise that God would do a specific thing, and then went to go pray like heck that He would actually do it?  Well, last night at around 6:45 I get the following text from her:

"My prayers last night were answered.  I dont know where I will be some Sunday but could you take me with you?"

I don't know what to say.  It's not that I don't believe it (I believed from the beginning of this that God would do something) but it just blows me away how He comes through when I trust Him.

Okay, one down, one to go -- let's see what God does about my missing stuff :D

Date:	2009-09-28 09:33
Subject:	It Is Well with My Soul
Security:	Public
Mood:	contingent

House got broken into.  Again.  Only this is actually the third time -- last time this happened I apparently erroneously thought that that was the third, when it was actually the second.  This is the second time people have actually gotten into the place -- the first time they just broke a window and someone scared them off.

But this is the only time it really got to me -- they took the only things that I would have been upset to lose: my sword, for one, the one I was knighted with; my grandfather's violin, which was an heirloom (I was supposed to have brought it to church today and forgot -- haha if I had remembered to do what I was supposed to do I'd still have it XD); and Karin's mandolin, which doesn't even belong to me and is really nice.  They got some other stuff too -- like my PS2, so I can't watch movies, and my CD player stereo that Mom got me for Christmas last year, even the nautical compass that Pastor Andy gave me during my rite of passage 10 years ago -- but the first three things are enough to really piss me off.

It's not too bad, though, even though they took the only things in my house that mean a whole lot to me (except for my piano, which they couldn't have taken anyway -- at least they didn't vandalize it).  I generally care so little about possessions that even those that mean a lot to me don't turn my life upside-down if they're taken away, and I have been surprised and pleased that God has given me such a degree of trust in Him for my safety that it doesn't bother me that my home has been violated.  Still, though, I care enough about those things that this time I'm actually going to make a concerted effort to track down some of the things from pawn shops and Craig's List as I can -- I'd really like to get the mandolin and the sword back, at least.

But I feel a peace about it, that God will make sure these things get back to me.  I hate saying things like that at times, mostly because I lack faith -- but even so, knowing that prayer doesn't work like a magic lamp means that I don't always know what's His will before it happens, so it seems weird to me to "prophesy" that God will do a certain thing.  I say this knowing full well that God may require that these things be gone forever, and I'm okay with that -- but at the same time I feel a certain peace that I think He wants me to go out on a limb and share, even if it means putting God on the line and risking ridicule for His Name from those who read this and do not believe.  But I'm saying it, because I felt like God wanted me to, and I'll leave the rest up to Him.  At least this way, if the stuff comes back, He gets the glory -- it'd be hard to call it a coincidence after that ;)

Another thing I'm going out on a limb for God concerning (haha God's sure helping me deal with my lack of faith lately, isn't He?) is about Caitlin, my half-sister, who's been insanely depressed lately.  Spoke with her at her lowest point last week and shared the Gospel with her, which I felt like God wanted me to do (I wasn't sure if she was ready, but I felt God tell me it was time) -- but the conversation got cut short, and as I suspected she was pretty resistant to it; though I feel like God planted some good seeds there.  She really does need Him, and I hope she comes to know Him as I do -- He's really the only thing that's going to make her happy.

But we hung out again yesterday, and I asked her if she'd been able to think about what we talked about last time -- and she said that her head was so full of stuff to think and agonize over that she couldn't think about anything else.  So I promised her that I would pray for God to clear her mind and essentially assured her in His name that He would do it, so that she would know that He's real.  Boy, I feel like it's right, but having this kind of faith is kind of crazy and stressful :D

I think I could get used to it, though...

Date:	2009-09-24 08:32
Subject:	Brain explosion! Many word attack!
Security:	Public
Mood:	effluent

Lots of words today.  I've been saving them up, apparently.

First, a couple dreams -- one from two nights ago and one from last night. 

Boy, the devil was after me yesterday, trying to get me to feel all discouraged after my talk with Caitlin.  I had a long day ahead of me, too, which didn't help.  Nearly everyone backing out of band practice again was in itself a mixed blessing of frustration at people for backing out (and at myself for not rescheduling earlier when I knew some people weren't going to be able to make it anyway), and relief that I now had a couple hours to myself to recharge.  So I went to Yoshino and had some sushi, then sat down outside for awhile and read (and, of course, prayed).  Ran into Jessica and her kid (cute boy, sharp as a tack) -- that was a pleasant conversation.  Felt much better after all that -- though I'm afraid of how much sleep I'm going to get before the wedding tomorrow; I stayed up til almost midnight with Megan building this Access thing she asked me to help her put together for her work, and tonight our meeting with Chad to go over this song he wanted to sing after the toast got pushed back until late-late, like until midnight again, because Brian can't make it in the afternoon and Chad just wasn't comfortable with leaving it until the day of the wedding to work on it.  Great.  Maybe this afternoon, between laundry, I can catch a few winks.

I've also been thinking about this situation between Ben and Lauren, and it got me to thinking about love languages again -- I think because Tijay and Kristin (their accountability couple) mentioned it when we all met together a couple weeks ago.  (Is love languages a Christian thing, or is it secular?  I don't know who started it...)  Anyway, got to thinking about my own love languages again -- when I was with Megan I learned that I'm kind of unpredictable in my emotional needs.  Turns out I am strong in three of the five love languages, but almost always never at once.  LOL I feel sorry for my future wife -- she'll have the hard task of figuring out which one I need in the moment :D Poor girl... haha as if that's the worst of the things she'll have to deal with in me *evil grin*

Okay, I finally feel like I'm talked out for the day.  Let's get to it...
 

Date:	2009-09-15 07:38
Subject:	Earthen Vessels
Security:	Public
Mood:	friable

"For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. For God, who said, 'Let light shine out of darkness,' made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us."

2 Corinthians 4:5-7

Date:	2009-09-14 08:08
Subject:	Shimmery wetness
Security:	Public
Mood:	irriguous

Yay rain!!!!

That is all :)

Well we leave back for FresYES this afternoon -- but not before having brunch at the Original Pancake House and going to some museum.  Ugh, I detest museums.  But Dad's excited about it, so don't tell him k? :D

Can't believe it's time to go back.  I miss my church -- went to a church we found online and it just wasn't the same.  I wonder how Brian and the team is doing this morning.  And my life seems pretty empty, actually, missing out on seeing church people.  It's harder than I thought it would be having to wait until next week to see Ben and Dave and Pastor Andy and Rachel and the other Rachel and Toni and Pat and Anna and the other Anna and Danine and... hm.

Well, we're off!  See ya in the 'No.

Date:	2009-09-04 17:58
Subject:	Oregon day 5
Security:	Public
Mood:	ironical

Ugh, it's a boring time right now.

Okay, so the story from two days ago.  Glad I delayed writing about it, because it has gotten a little since:)

So Dad, under the pretense of taking us to see Portland, actually only drove around the city for about 20 minutes before whisking us east along the Columbia to several little waterfalls he had recently discovered.  They were quite lovely -- but that's not really the story.  The story happened at a cute little BnB-looking place on the way -- don't remember the name, think it was something like Fair View Inn or something.  Rather charming, supposedly they filmed the prom scene from the Twilight movie there or something else I don't care about.

But it really did look like something worth checking out, so we stopped in for lunch.  We get a seat on the veranda, overlooking the river and I think the nearby town of Troutdale -- quite picturesque, the sort of place you might set aside on a honeymoon trip or something.

And then all such thoughts were obliterated when my dad received a screw in his iced tea.  No joke.  An actual, metal screw.

We had several laughs about that, making sure not to make our screw puns so loud that anyone (especially the service staff) might overhear.  I'm sure you can imagine -- "Boy, we sure got screwed!", "I'm sorry, sir, we're fresh out of screws -- would you settle for a rusty nail?", etc. etc.

And we were even more disillusioned with the place when the food took literally over an hour to get to us.  How hard is it to whip together a few sandwiches?

So, sorry future Mrs. Scott, but I will not be taking you to enjoy the hospitality of the View Point Inn (or whatever it's called, LOL).

Oh, and here's where the story got better: Lauren was cooking yesterday, and a screw fell from the cabinet into the tea kettle that was on the stove.  Ironies galore :)

I love my family.

Date:	2009-09-02 18:07
Subject:	Oregon day 3
Security:	Public
Mood:	complacent

Spending the week in Oregon, visiting my dad with my sister.  So far we've driven around the countryside surrounding Salem, spent some time in Portland, saw a few waterfalls east of Troutdale... it's been a good relaxing time.  I wish I was better about taking pictures, or even owned a camera -- maybe this year for Christmas or whatever I'll have to just break down and ask for one.  Yeah, it's SO hard asking for things for Christmas LOL

A lot of things are very beautiful up here.  More to come later -- I have a pretty funny story about the restaurant we went to for lunch today that I'll have to tell when I have more time to do so :)

Date:	2009-08-28 08:10
Subject:	F# minor
Security:	Public
Mood:	sequestered

My life is currently in the key of F#m.

Date:	2009-08-21 09:41
Subject:	A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!
Security:	Public
Mood:	sans souci

Saw Richard III at Woodward Park last night, and I must say I was quite impressed.  It was long, though.  I miss doing Shakespeare -- I only got to do it once in high school, when I was Proteus in Two Gentlemen of Verona.  That's right, the bad guy -- got an evil laugh and everything >:-D

It's a really good season in my life, right now.  I feel content :)

Date:	2009-08-18 16:24
Subject:	Love
Security:	Public
Mood:	cherished

I experienced love yesterday.  Received some disturbing news over the weekend that made it necessary for my family and I to talk about some things.  I had been seething all weekend: I felt betrayed, my joy was gone, I had no motivation -- knowing what I knew created this mood, and I came to Mom's house after work in no mood to be cordial.

Skipping forward to the end of the story, we were able to have a great talk and get on the same page, ironing out some misunderstandings (most of which were fuel for my foul mood), but before we got to that point I had a lot of nastiness to get out of my system first.  Again, hurt and perceptively betrayed I said some ugly things... and yet there was no retaliation, no words sent back whose primary motive is hurt and destruction.  They trusted me enough to wait out my stinking funk, to lovingly bear the brunt of my anger and bitterness knowing it will pass soon.  And regardless of how short-lived the mood lasted, regardless of how comparatively mild my ugly words may have been compared to other families, I could not miss -- even in the depths of my loathsome attitude -- the immense love the members of my family showed for me in those brief moments.  I am thankful for that today.

Especially, since through God we were able to come to this place on the other side of dysfunction.  Praise the Almighty.

Date:	2009-07-27 09:10
Subject:	Sore
Security:	Public
Mood:	discomfited

Starting to feel a little sore from Saturday's competition at church :) The men's ministry has a monthly competition among the men, and this month was the "strong man" competition -- which involved bench press, endurance (holding two gallon water bottles at shoulder height), and towing a car about 50 feet.  Surprisingly I got the longest time for the gallon challenge -- though my shoulders are paying for it today, LOL.  It was fun.

Concerts in the Park tonight!  It's going to be big band swing music -- lotsa fun :D

Date:	2009-07-16 08:10
Subject:	Dang it!
Security:	Public
Mood:	livid

The County blocked my access to my e-mail account.  Those dolts.

Date:	2009-07-13 12:39
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	tangled

"The wise are not wise because they make no mistakes.  They are wise because they correct their mistakes as soon as they recognize them." -- Orson Scott Card, Xenocide

Interesting quote, thought I'd set it down :)